What is a gallbladderectomy?

When a surgeon removes your tonsils, it's a tonsillectomy.
When a surgeon removes your appendix, it's an appendectomy.
When a surgeon removes your gallbladder, it's a gallbladderectomy.

Right?

Wrong! This one's labeled a little more esoterically. The removal of one's gallbladder is a cholecystectomy.

Say what? Why not a gallbladderectomy?

Here's my best guess... Technically-speaking, a gallbladder is known as a cholecyst. Thus, the name for its removal: cholecystectomy.

A cholecystectomy can be performed by 2 methods: Open Surgery, or Laparoscopic Surgery.

An Open cholecystectomy is the more traditional but also the more invasive, requiring a 4- to 7-inch incision to extract the gallbladder. Patients usually stay in the hospital overnight and require several more weeks resting at home for complete recovery.

A Laparoscopic cholecystectomy is a more modern approach and is used for most gallbladder removals today. For technical reasons or safety, a laparoscopic cholecystectomy may be converted to an open cholecystectomy.

In a Laparoscopic cholecystectomy, 4 or 5 small incisions are made in the abdominal cavity area. Then a camera and surgical tools are used to perform the procedure.

It is estimated that 500,000 cholecystectomies are performed in the U.S. each year. In 2008, I will spend the remainder of the year praying for the 250,000 that are left to be performed.

NOTE
I had a laparoscopic cholecystectomy performed on May 22, 2008, at St. John's Hospital in Lebanon, Missouri. The surgeon was Dr. Karen Tabb.

I was impressed with Dr. Tabb when, during my first meeting with her (on May 15) to schedule the procedure, she asked me to pray with her. I bowed my head while she lead our prayer asking for God's help during the procedure. In my 46 years of life, going to various medical professionals for any number of issues, this was a first; and one that I won't likely forget.

Thanks to all those who held me in their prayers. Your love and affection are tremendously appreciated.

Trouble at the K.O. Corral

INTRODUCTION:
(This is my attempt at making people laugh.) The following story is fictional but with elements borrowed from my life. In order to protect parties (both guilty and innocent), I've disguised reality and present it here as fiction. Only the most-connected reader will make any sense out of it at all.

Alice doesn't live here anymore... Look! It's the Tweedle Brothers... Off with his head! We should have a staff outing... in June.

Q. (asked of me at work) Who do you think you are? The Exorcist? These are kids -- not daemons -- that we are dealing with!

Q. (asked of me at work and elsewhere) When are you going to quit quitting? When you don't smoke, you are like Hell on Earth!

Q. (asked of me at work, the last time I got a haircut) What are you trying to do? Imitate Brittany Spears??

Q. (asked of me at work, when traveling back to Missouri from Omaha) What kind of Christian are you? Studying the Red-Lettered edition of the Bible!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Q. (asked of me at work) Would you be interested in being Systems Engineer? You are among only about 4 or 5 people in the company (who have this degree of knowledge and passion)!

Q. (asked of me at work) Why in Hell would you come in at 4:00 a.m.?

Q. (asked of me at work) Why did you contact H.R.?!

Q. (asked of me at work) Why did you contact the Ethics Officer?!

Q. (asked of me at work) What does "<g>" mean?

Q. (asked of me at work) Do you think your sexuality will impact your performance?

Q. (asked of me at work, during interview) How old are you?

Q. (asked of me at work) Can you hold my hand? I'm going to represent the company... I've only been here 3 years longer than you... I need somebody for companionship. It's going to be boring. The food will be awful. I really didn't come to work to market our company. Hey! I'm and Engineer for Christ's sake! Well, if you're not going to... I'm going over your head and stealing one of your team members... to Hell with your project's deadlines!

Q. (asked of me at work) Can you prove that I'm not a productive member of the office??

Q. (asked of me at work) Can you explain K.I.S.S.? I am an engineer... but, I'm too young to know stuff like that! I'm offended that you're calling me stupid... let's fight!

Q. (asked of me at work) Can we just call Jose "Joe"? After all, this is America!

Q. (asked of me at work) How do you spell relief?

[more to come as time permits]

Weight Loss Plan

This is not really a plan... but the RESULTS of my plan to lose weight. Below is a list of the readings which I have recorded on my scales at home:

1. 208 lbs (on Feb 5, 2008)
2. 189 lbs (on May 20, 2008) for a reduction of 19 lbs! YES!
   

FAQ
Q-01. Ok... so, what is the plan, exactly? (i.e., do you have a goal?)
A-01. Goals are good. So, yes, there is a goal. The goal is to reach 150 lbs when I can begin re-building muscle for a body which will be highly-prized (or, minimally, highly-valued by me!)

Q-02. Are you keeping this healthy?
A-02. Good question. Yes, I keep healthy by consulting with my neighbor and with my best friend who are experts in fitness and nutrition.

Q-03. Every goal has a target date. What is your ETA?
A-04. November 10, 2008.

Q-04. What? Then you gonna eat like a madman from November 10 until January 1?
A-04. Nope. Just gonna eat healthy during that period.

Q-05. Are you counting calories? carbs? ______? (fill in the blank)
A-05. Nope.

Q-06. How do you measure progress?
A-06. By measuring myself wearing the same weigh-in suit on the same scales.

Q-07. Are you exercising right?
A-07. Probably not. But, I am exercising as much as possible.

Q-08. Are you eating the right things?
A-08. Definitely. Salads. Yogurts. Fruits. Water. Lemonade. OJ. Wendy's Frosty's.

Q-09. Are people noticing the change?
A-09. Not so much. Unless I point it out to them, it goes (as it should go) unnoticed!

Q-10. What are you going to do with your wardrobe?
A-10. I'm gonna keep my favorites. Gonna donate the rest to Goodwill.

I've been invited to surrender a God-given body part...

I arrived at work this past Monday at about 6:30 a.m. My boss felt that he had to counsel me and ordered me not to work between 10:00 p.m. and 6:00 a.m. So, I had gone in about as early as constraints would allow: 0630. After all, I had a lot of work to accomplish this week...

At approximately 0740, I realized that I had left some tools at home as well as medicines for a condition that I am currently being treated for. I decided to dash home to get them. While at home, I bent down to fill Houston's water bowl... and, as I did this, it happened -- a pain in my abdomen such as I had never experienced before.

On my return drive to the office, I felt several more of these attacks. Two of them were so severe that I literally doubled over in response, almost hitting cars in the lanes next to me. I became very frightened. Luckily, I made it into our parking lot with my car -- and myself -- intact!

I immediately knew that something was wrong... but what was it? I had had an appendectomy over 15 years ago... so it could not be my appendix.

I went into the office... got to my desk, writhing in pain. I called Cigna, my insurance provider. During the course of that call, with all the voice prompts and such, I was advised that, if this were an emergency, to hang up... and dial 9-1-1. It seemed reasonable.

I decided to get confirmation from our corporate H.R. person. So, I contacted her via our Jabber client. After some banter, she advised me not to call 9-1-1 (contrary to Cigna's advice) but to have someone in the office to drive me to the E-R. I concurred and told her that I'd "ping" my boss, since I heard his voice nearby.

I stood up, walked a couple of feet to where he was having a consultation with one of my cohorts, and blurted "I need one of you two to drive me to the E-R on post." I don't recall the exact details, but my boss decided to give me a difficult time as he is wont to do.

I interrupted him to say that H.R. had advised me to make the request. He demanded to know why I had called her?? I don't recall replying... by this time in so much pain that I only wanted to scream... to cry... perhaps both!

Realizing that I was totally serious, he finally spoke up and said that he'd drive me over... Whew! I was going to get the help that I needed and sooooo desired.

When we arrived at the E-R, my boss offered (in what I recall was a very condescending tone) to carry my bag into the E-R for me... My pain was so great... my blood pressure so high... that I ignored his offer... especially the sincerity... or should I say the lack thereof which was voiced. "No, thank you. I can manage myself!"

And off to the E-R I went. Sounding like a whimpering puppy, I sat in the E-R at Fort Leonard Wood, providing the information which is always part of the process of seeking help from institutions which are overlorded by the legal profession. My mind wondered... is this the end for me? is this so severe that my life will be over soon? Memories of my having told friends, over the years, that, somehow, I did not sense that I would enjoy a long life... Could this be the event which would prove my feelings right?

The staff at the E-R was exceptional! I was introduced to "Nurse Giggles"... LOL... and "Nurse Meds"... The doctor who treated me was among the best that I've ever experienced... The staff was warm, kind, caring and extremely professional in every way imaginable. And I don't just say this because they injected me with serum which made the pain go away! <g>

Once it was suspected that I was having a problem with gall stones, an ambulance was arranged to transport me to St. John's Hospital in Lebanon, Missouri. I was transferred without incident... well, almost. The portal which had been inserted into my left wrist for ease was pulled out while riding in the van... the paramedic who rode in the ambulance with me was pleasant... and I distinctly recall talking her ears off!

I arrived... was processed at St. John's -- again, the most pleasant professional staff...

I was released and was given more medications... and an appointment with Dr. Tabb, a surgeon at St. John's Hospital.

Having left my vehicle on post, I did not have transportation to get back to Fort Leonard Wood... and needed to hire a taxicab. In case you are wondering, no, the hospital does not provide courtesy transportation -- unless, of course, the patient cannot afford the cab fare. Many friends and relatives (from afar) were surprised to hear this... but not nearly as surprised as I due to my bank's problems managing automated transactions...

I've been banking with FNBC for at least 2 years. I decided (as a preventive measure) to use my ATM/Debit card to ensure that I had funds to cover my transportation and was shocked that I did not have the $50 fare!

SIDEBAR
I would later learn that FNBC was doubling certain transactions and placing a freeze on $2 for each $1 spent on the transaction! I spent several hours working with Ms. Linda Clear, the Retail Manager of the Mammoth Spring branch of the bank. Over the course of 3 days, Linda offered various explanations -- excuses really -- for the problems which her bank had caused me. One excuse was that my new bank, Armed Forces Bank, had swiped my card twice.

When I visited Linda to give her the phone number of my contact at my new bank, I listened carefully as she tried pointing the finger at everyone EXCEPT her own bank, FNBC. She finally offered the final excuse: the source of the problem was that the two banks belonged to 2 separate financial networks. FNBC uses SHAZAM; AFB uses STAR. I suppose that, as long as the vendor (FNBC, in this case) can leave reasonable doubt that it is blameless, this is an acceptable approach.

However, I continue investigating the source of this frustration. Not simply because I am an obsessive-compulsive type; but, because it is unacceptable to me that anyone should "borrow" your money without paying you interest for the duration of the loan. And this is exactly how I perceive what happened. Obviously, since it is only hours and days... this is a short-term loan... what is not so obvious is that, for a legal lending transaction to take place, the lender (me, in this case) MUST give consent; which wasn't the case here. Hmmmmmm....

What makes this especially painful is that my father and his brother have been friends with Linda's family for many, many years... :(
END OF SIDEBAR

Not to worry... If I could assert that I was destitute (something which I was loathe to do), the hospital would consider me a charity case and would help fund my transportation home. Geez... with my income, to plead poverty is truly sinful, dishonest, and totally ridiculous.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy

Perception vs. Reality

It is not often that I agree with OpEd pieces; particularly those from the NY Times. Recently, that paper presented an article which highlights the ridiculous scam being conducted by the Missouri state legislature. The article, "The Myth of Voter Fraud," discussed the disingenuous attempt (on the part of the state's Republican Party) to reduce -- yes, REDUCE! -- voter turnout.

To quote from the article,
"As with Missouri’s proposed amendment, the driving force behind strict voter ID requirements in general is not a genuine effort to prevent fraud, since there is virtually no evidence that in-person voter fraud is occurring. It is, rather, the Republican Party’s electoral calculations. Barriers at the polls drive down voter turnout, especially among the poor, racial minorities and students — groups that are less likely than average to have driver’s licenses, and that are more likely than average to vote Democratic."

While I agree that the American political party system is among the best forms of representative democracy in existence, I also believe that we need some type of overhaul. Yet, we hear so little media coverage of this opinion, either in print or on Faux News (i.e., Fox), Clinton News Network (i.e., CNN), among others.

The article pointed out the embarrassment endured during the recent Indiana (which has passed legislation to reduce voter turnout) primary elections when nuns were prevented from voting because their ids did not meet state requirements.

Being a one-time Hoosier Scholar while attending Purdue University and, now, a resident of the state of Missouri, I see a little-known link between these two states of our nation: both have a humiliating record of enacting legislation that has not only become notorious, but demonstrates how politicians can easily flush taxpayer money down the drain.

Example from Missouri: Until 1976, a state law existed on the books which called for the extermination of Mormons in the state.

Example from Indiana: The General Assembly, in 1897, created a bill which would have dictated that the value of pi be fixed at 3.2. Fortunately, a professor from Purdue University was present and was able to prevent the bill from getting passed!

Ramblings about the Kent State Massacre

HISTORICAL GLIMPSE (i.e., BACK IN THE DAY)
I was 8 years old and lived in Akron, Ohio, almost exactly 38 years ago -- when the Kent State Massacre (aka May 4 Massacre, Kent State Shootings, et. al.) occurred. I recall that, as a child, I could not understand what was happening as I looked out our living room window only to see mass confusion and chaos, where young people were overturning cars in the streets... how, all I could question is why I was not allowed outside to play as was my normal daily routine.

There were many questions in that young mind of 38 years ago that went unanswered. What I have since learned is that this single event caused millions of college students to stand in unity against evil aggression which was conducted by our own democratic government despite the vocal opposition by a majority of Americans at the time. This study (standard Political Science 101 topic) caused me to re-assess what I had been taught in primary school... what I had learned about the very foundation of our democracy... how our government is OF, BY and FOR the people... etc.

And, despite the lessons taught me, I know a sadder picture. The theory of democratic government is intoxicating. It approaches Nirvana in its prose. However, reality causes us to sit back and compare theory with practice. Imagine a government OF, BY and FOR "Men"... that was the practice from the Revolutionary War until the Civil War... when a crossroads was reached... was it "White Men" or "All Men?" As a result of that conflict (The American Civil War), it was decided that black men, who had previously been counted as subhuman -- less than a white man (indeed, the Three-Fifths Compromise of 1787, resulted in Article I, Section 3, Paragraph 2, of the U.S. Constitution) -- were, at last, equal to white men. (The "Red Man," however, would have to wait another century to be considered equal to either the black or the white man. Women also had to wait for their due "equality" provision to be added to the U.S. Constitution; but not as long a wait as the "Red Skins.")