I attended Sunday school with my cousin (prior to moving in with my parents later at the age of 6 or so). After moving home with Mom and Dad, I continued seeking the Truth. I attended church with my neighbors (since Mom and Dad did not actively practice their faith). My neighbors were, I believe, of the Methodist faith.
I went with them on long journeys from our home to the "tent revivals." My neighbor's mom taught that it was good to be baptized in "the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost." I observed the mass baptisms which would happen at these revivals when the revivals literally hosted river-baptisms, emulating the baptism of Jesus as closely as possible.
Throughout the years when I was 9 and 10, I attended -- again without influence of my siblings or my parents -- a Baptist Sunday school. Somewhere between the ages of 7 and 10, my mother noticed the thirst which was demonstrated by my older sister and myself. As a good mother will do to nurture this unquenchable thirst, she ordered and installed an encyclopedia of the Bible in our home. It held Bible stories in the form which were presentable to our young minds.
Janice and I would compete through the 10-or-11 volumes... reading... and testing ourselves for having learned the lessons being taught. This search for Truth has continued over the past 30-some years.
About 1998, while living in Colorado Springs... home to Focus on the Family -- the mission of James Dobson -- and home to other leaders of the religious right movement and the so-called Christianists, whose work sometimes appears to be more focused on Americanism or American Politics than on Christianity (and, yes, home to the fallen evangelist Ted Haggard); while living in this beautiful city on the plateau of the Great Rockies, I discovered the Metropolitan Community Church.
One thing which I read while researching MCC was a reference to John 3:16... the MCC publishes literature which calls attention to the fact that, in John 3:16, no reference is made to include heterosexuals exclusively. I remember how it had seemed so simple... that W-H-O-S-O-E-V-E-R shall believe in God, shall have life everlasting. Simple. Whosoever did not indicate that only the heteros who believed... not only the Americans who believed... not only the Catholics who believed... but WHOSOEVER believes... Beauty in simplicity.
I joined the MCC congregation in Colorado Springs where then-Elder Reverend Nori conducted sermons. I remember how I had felt on Sundays, listening to Reverend Nori deliver her thoughts... I remember that I participated in a Gay Pride event for the first time ever in my life, marching alongside members of the Colorado Springs MCC congregation. And I remember how I thought, "so THIS is what Gay Pride is about." I had not, until that moment, understood the phrase "Gay Pride."
I remember that as we walked toward the park in downtown Colorado Springs... how members of Dobson's groups and others spoke from the sidewalks condemning our souls to Hell. How Reverend Nori had spoken back to remind the hypocrites that we were to love one another... not torment and torture each other... It was a powerful moment in my life. For the first time, I *WAS* proud... proud that I did not have to hide... proud that I did not have to die... proud that I was doing something positive to address the topic in public... to quote from the Harry Potter series, "To speak about that which cannot speak its name..." or something like that.
Between 1992 and 1998, I had remained at home... reading as much as I could to try to understand how I could reconcile my sexuality with my spiritual search. I read books, including:
- What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality
- In the Courts of the Lord: A Gay Priest's Story
- Many Lives, Many Masters: The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both Their Lives
After leaving Colorado Springs, I had, again, looked for a church where I could experience the Holy Spirit... where I could walk in... and know... that those present had no malice... no anger against me... no hatred... but simple love. Love for God... love for Godkind... and love for humankind.
The search finally ended a few months ago when Missouri State representative, Jeanette Mott Oxford, invited me to her church, Epiphany United Church of Christ. Again, I am happy to worship regularly with others who practice acts and perform deeds which exemplify God's love for humankind.
My journey for enlightenment is far from over. I only wanted to share that it is, indeed, a never-ending struggle throughout our lives... the Truth is hard to discern. It is often unpleasant. But it always releases us and lets us move freely forward... to accomplish more... to handle more... to overcome more. In short, it fulfills the cliche: The Truth will set us free.
I have compiled a list of books which appear interesting and which I hope to read one day:
- How to Make the World a Better Place for Gays & Lesbians
- Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality: Explode the Myths, Heal the Church
- The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships
- Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America
- Homosexuality: Good and Right in the Eyes of God?
- Coming Out While Staying in: Struggles and Celebrations of Lesbians, Gays, and Bisexuals in the Church
- Sex and the Sacred: Gay Identity and Spiritual Growth
- Queer Quotes: On Coming Out and Culture, Love and Lust, Politics and Pride, and Much More
- Coming Out As Sacrament
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